Friday, January 25, 2008
Friday, January 18, 2008
Sorry
Thursday, January 10, 2008
"I'm still alive"
"Bingo Slaughter"
Is it unreasonable for me to want to see a movie about a whack job old lady who kills like 40 other elderly people at a bingo hall? I mean to be honest it just sounds like an awesome idea. I don't know. Forget it.
Moving on. How are you? How has your week been thus far? Really think about how you are feeling right now. But seriously, whatever. I'm bored with this post. I promise better stuff tomorrow. But don't count on it because I am not reliable and was formerly a convicted and sentenced liar of all sorts.
I’m tired. Bye, bye.
Monday, January 7, 2008
“This is the most adorable kitten I have ever seen” exclaimed the senator, “her fur is so soft. It’s like touching the finest imitation fur, you know the kind that feels so soft that you know it’s fake”. I looked at the senator and nodded my head in false agreement. He was too fucked up to interpret my body language anyway.
“My daughter and her new boyfriend are supposed to coming over today. Everyone is excited. All of the maids are anxious to see not only the beautiful slab of man that Ophelia is undoubtedly bringing us but also the footprints of age that father time has graced Ophelia’s face with. She was always so beautiful, my daughter. She left the house when she was nineteen. She was college bound and chomping at the bit for a taste of the real world. To her the world was a bottle Jack Daniels and she was going to get hammered on life”.
“After she left our humble home she flew westward to UCLA. There she majored in journalism. She was top of her class and one of the most promising student journalists in all of California. Her writing was beautiful. Her words could make even the hardest of badasses tear up after reading one of her position papers on homelessness or AIDS in Africa. After she graduated she took a year off to experience life in western America before she started working for a fancy paper from the east coast. And this is where her new boyfriend comes in”.
“His name is River Jones. When I heard the name I imagined a blue jeans ad. I really hope he doesn’t suck as bad as those commercials do. Watching those commercials is the worst thing ever”.
“She told me many a time on the phone about how sweet he was beneath his rough exterior. I could tell he was blowing smoke up her ass”.
“It was time I blew something else up his”.
“Three days later I was arrested for the murder of River O. Jones. A few days following the incident I was put on trial and convicted for my sins. I am currently serving my 80 year sentence. I’ve been here for 26 days and it already feels like an eternity”.
...Also, here's another picture I had taken a while ago. The person in the photo is one of my roommates.
“My daughter and her new boyfriend are supposed to coming over today. Everyone is excited. All of the maids are anxious to see not only the beautiful slab of man that Ophelia is undoubtedly bringing us but also the footprints of age that father time has graced Ophelia’s face with. She was always so beautiful, my daughter. She left the house when she was nineteen. She was college bound and chomping at the bit for a taste of the real world. To her the world was a bottle Jack Daniels and she was going to get hammered on life”.
“After she left our humble home she flew westward to UCLA. There she majored in journalism. She was top of her class and one of the most promising student journalists in all of California. Her writing was beautiful. Her words could make even the hardest of badasses tear up after reading one of her position papers on homelessness or AIDS in Africa. After she graduated she took a year off to experience life in western America before she started working for a fancy paper from the east coast. And this is where her new boyfriend comes in”.
“His name is River Jones. When I heard the name I imagined a blue jeans ad. I really hope he doesn’t suck as bad as those commercials do. Watching those commercials is the worst thing ever”.
“She told me many a time on the phone about how sweet he was beneath his rough exterior. I could tell he was blowing smoke up her ass”.
“It was time I blew something else up his”.
“Three days later I was arrested for the murder of River O. Jones. A few days following the incident I was put on trial and convicted for my sins. I am currently serving my 80 year sentence. I’ve been here for 26 days and it already feels like an eternity”.
...Also, here's another picture I had taken a while ago. The person in the photo is one of my roommates.
Great News and Other News but nothing relevent or important to you in any way!
Let it be noted that I am not posting this image to show off my awesome Wii bowling skills.
Today is a glorious day. Every day leading up to this moment was meant to train me for it. When it came, I knew what to do. I woke up this afternoon at 12:31pm, immediately got up, walked into the living room and turned on the Wii. I think morning Wii is my favorite time of Wii. It’s such a morning friendly system. I’m not even kidding. Those of you who own one know what I’m talking about. Compared to the dark and empty Playstation 3 menu and the vibrantly colored menu that some might consider to be a bit intense, that of the XBOX 360s, the Wii’s is a bright and cheery “How ya doin’ today” kind of feel. Sometimes I feel its like walking up to a baby’s cradle just to look that baby in the eye…and then play a game or two with it. Maybe check out a Youtube video, or play a game of “Kirby’s Dream Course” on the virtual console.
Anyhow, back to what I was getting at before. I knew what I had to do today. I had to wake up and beat a level of Zack and Wiki on my Wii. Now I know what you’re thinking, [in the voice styling of a crotchety old man] “Zack and Wiki? Now that there just sounds like a boy snoopin’ around on the internet for that there info on the Wikipedia.org or something of the sorts”, but seriously, the game fucking rules, it’s a point and click adventure much like “Monkey Island” and it is such a funny and challenging game.
I beat a level of “Zack and Wiki” this morning and I am incredibly proud of myself for just getting up and doing this. Maybe tomorrow I will be ready to check the mail or go outside.
Side Note:
“I have yet to feel any serious cravings this morning.”
–direct testimonial of Matthew R. Croasdale
Today is a glorious day. Every day leading up to this moment was meant to train me for it. When it came, I knew what to do. I woke up this afternoon at 12:31pm, immediately got up, walked into the living room and turned on the Wii. I think morning Wii is my favorite time of Wii. It’s such a morning friendly system. I’m not even kidding. Those of you who own one know what I’m talking about. Compared to the dark and empty Playstation 3 menu and the vibrantly colored menu that some might consider to be a bit intense, that of the XBOX 360s, the Wii’s is a bright and cheery “How ya doin’ today” kind of feel. Sometimes I feel its like walking up to a baby’s cradle just to look that baby in the eye…and then play a game or two with it. Maybe check out a Youtube video, or play a game of “Kirby’s Dream Course” on the virtual console.
Anyhow, back to what I was getting at before. I knew what I had to do today. I had to wake up and beat a level of Zack and Wiki on my Wii. Now I know what you’re thinking, [in the voice styling of a crotchety old man] “Zack and Wiki? Now that there just sounds like a boy snoopin’ around on the internet for that there info on the Wikipedia.org or something of the sorts”, but seriously, the game fucking rules, it’s a point and click adventure much like “Monkey Island” and it is such a funny and challenging game.
I beat a level of “Zack and Wiki” this morning and I am incredibly proud of myself for just getting up and doing this. Maybe tomorrow I will be ready to check the mail or go outside.
Side Note:
“I have yet to feel any serious cravings this morning.”
–direct testimonial of Matthew R. Croasdale
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Dear Clementine, the war has been a diffi...
Yeah, so I totally forgot to tell you that I quit smoking for New Years. Posting about it is more or less for me. I think that if I start keeping track of it via intermittent side posts it might provide more support for the cause. I have been trying to use little things like that to maintain my smoke-free lifestyle during its second infancy. I also try to go out of my way not to smoke in front of impressionable minds (i.e. children, monkeys, copy-cats, small birds, sheep, lemmings etc). These two methods of maintaining my sanity and cooling my nerves during my journey through the desert of no cigarettes are just a drop in the bucket of an entire of arsenal of help. If I had to award a few outstanding soldiers for giving so much when their dear country of Croasdland needed them to stand up and defend it, they would be Orbit chewing gum, and “Super Mario Galaxy”. They would be awarded the Medal of Honor.
Since New Years I was able to go cigarette-free for 5 days. I broke down and had one with my roommate before work yesterday. Since then I have managed to avert my attention from nicotine once again. But for how long, though? Nobody knows. I’ll keep you updated in the days, weeks, and months to come. Should you need a personal one-to-one conversation with me about it, feel free to e-mail me any of your questions.
photo by Maria Lee
croasdma@emmanuel.edu
Since New Years I was able to go cigarette-free for 5 days. I broke down and had one with my roommate before work yesterday. Since then I have managed to avert my attention from nicotine once again. But for how long, though? Nobody knows. I’ll keep you updated in the days, weeks, and months to come. Should you need a personal one-to-one conversation with me about it, feel free to e-mail me any of your questions.
photo by Maria Lee
croasdma@emmanuel.edu
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